This time of year I dream of Southern living.

It was -21 degrees a couple of days ago, and yesterday’s high didn’t crack zero, so when I interviewed a gentleman in Texas who deals with the extreme heat by utilizing TWO growing seasons, I longed for the same problem.

Friends and my husband’s argument that its so hot in the South during the summer that you can’t do much outside falls on deaf ears. I don’t break a sweat until the temp is over 90 degrees, and my hands and feet are perpetually cold once it falls below 75 degrees. Heat isn’t my problem.

Southern Bugs

The only things that I think might bother me about southern living are the bugs. My grandparents used to live in Florida, and when I was 11 I was allowed to drive down with them and stay for a few weeks.

Of course, it was lovely to be away from the hoard of siblings at home. Then again, the noise of the local insects was rather intimidating for a solo pre-teen. I remember one day Granny Mary let me take her bike out for a spin. Their road was through the small development my grandfather built, and was completely paved. I intended to ride to the end, which was maybe a quarter of a mile, and back.

That is, until I reached the trees. As I peddled closer, the noise level of whatever was living in the trees grew louder. I cracked, turned around, and sped back to the house as fast as I could. Id rather deal with the alligators, snapping turtles, and poisonous snakes living in the nearby lagoon (where we swam and fished) than the unknown in the trees.

Palmetto Bug

I can’t say exactly what was in the trees, but the one insect I could identify was the palmetto bug. Technically, this is the American cockroach, but its not like the smaller varieties seen on programs featuring hoarders who havent cleaned their homes for years.

These were BIG. I know some of them were 2-inches long. I dont remember seeing any in the house, but they definitely hung out on the door screens and the outside walls. Ick. From what I understand, the best way to dispatch them is to smack them with something heavy (like a shoe or hammer). Just so you know, its going to leave a mess. There’s no way you can squish something that big without a clean up crew.

Dealing with Harsh South Bugs

And being a gardener in Florida can be a challenge not only because of the heat situation, but because of the prolific number of insects looking for a meal. Take tomatoes, for example. They need to watch out for whiteflies, aphids, weevils, a whole army of various caterpillars, weevils, mites and stink bugs, which pierce the fruit and literally suck the life out of them. We have a few stray hornworms and grasshoppers. Thats about it.

One of the most ingenious ways Ive seen people deal with the pests is to segregate them from the plants. There are very lightweight floating row covers that can be wrapped around the plants like a protective cocoon; it even helps lower the temperature a few degrees (the opposite of how we use them here). Plus, Ive seen some people cover the individual tomatoes with small mesh bags. (You can find these at craft stores.) I thought it was brilliant. Time consuming. But brilliant.

I guess Im trying to convince myself that gardening in the southern climates wouldnt be as easy as I imagine, but as the temperature drops I think I really should head to warmer climes just to see if its really that bad when it comes to pests in the garden.

The photo is copyright Jamesbenet via istock.