Yesterday was the day of the spider. Our 5 year old, Sam, came screaming around the corner like a gaggle of tarantulas dropped down upon his head. He said, “It got me! The spider got me!”

Seriously, I was looking for fang marks. It turns out he went down his slide, and his head touched a spider’s web that he hadn’t seen before.

Granted, I can understand the surprise, although I don’t know if I’ve ever had quite that reaction. It reminded me of the routine the comedian Brian Regan does about how ridiculous people look at a distance when they walk through a spider’s web. (For those of you who haven’t heard of him, he’s an observational comedian who is absolutely hilarious… and clean. He nails those little things in life. I nearly had to pull over while driving when he did his spelling bee routine.)

It’s true when it comes to a spider’s web. You’re walking along minding your own business, and then go into thrashing spasms when you walk through one! It’s not the most dignified appearance.

Sam brought me over to the offending silken barrier hanging above the slide, which I cleared off so he would no longer be attacked by the little beasty.

It wasn’t long afterwards that my husband spotted a cluster of teeny, tiny spiders most likely newly hatched. We called the boys over to check them out in a hope that they’ll be less freaked out by them. I recalled the final scenes in “Charlotte’s Web” when Charlotte’s babies to the boys as they watched the extremely small spiders skitter around the web. John reached for a stick to whack them, which is his normal response to pretty much everything. Sam watched them, and wondered why they weren’t talking like Charlotte’s babies. Yeah, we need talking spiders to totally freak us all out.

Spiders in the Garden

Spiders are kind of like snakes when it comes to their place in the garden. On a rational level people know they’re good. They eat bad things that damage our crops or are a nuisance to us. On the visceral level both can send people into orbit or will cause some men to scream like a girl. (We’ll just see if a particular brother-in-law is reading this because he knows who he is.) It’s a tenuous relationship, at best, but my goal is to teach people to learn to live with the beneficial creatures of the backyard.

Here are a few tips to those who aren’t so keen on creepy crawlies in your garden.

Using that frontal cortex of the brain, you’re less likely to freak when you know something is not going to harm you. That’s why I wanted to show the boys the baby spiders. Even though there were hundreds of them, they’re not very intimidating. (Can you imagine seeing hundreds of full grown spiders? Talk about the heebies!) You need to know what spider and snake species are common and benign in your area. Just as importantly, learn which ones who can pose a threat to you so you’re more confident to protect yourself.

If you don’t have a lot of venomous spiders or snakes in your area, create a friendly garden for them. They need a place to hide, such as a small rock pile, and need sunny, undisturbed places to hang out and warm up. But, just think, if you encourage a garter snake or two to stay in the garden, you’re going to have a lot less slugs.

It’s the same with spiders who are excellent hunters in the garden and around the house. Mulching helps give smaller spiders places to hide and hunt, and the simple act of not destroying webs, like I did on the slide, gives them more opportunities to catch the pesky insects.

Personal Anecdote

P.S. I have to admit a spider freak out moment of my own the other night. I was in the tub reading when I glanced up and noticed a rather large spider peering down at me with a menacing stare from the folds of the shower curtain. Carefully, I crept out of the tub, quickly dressed and prepared for battle. Thankfully, since I have two boys who take baths in the same tub I had weapons. I grabbed one of the big spoons and started swatting the shower curtain. I noticed the spider had jumped to the shower wall, which prompted me to run and grab a couple of bottles of cleaner – natural cleaner with tea tree oil and Kaboom. The latter worked the best. Once the spider was in the tub, it was a matter of washing it down the drain, which was no small feat because of its size. My husband said it sounded like quite the ordeal, but there was no way I was going to sleep knowing a spider that big was in the house.

(The photo of the baby spiders is copyright of schoolgirl from istock since I didn’t have a macro to shoot the tiny little darlings last night.)