We all have trials in life, and our latest one happened in the end of August. My mom’s health failed and she went totally downhill in a ten day period. As her health care agent, I had to sign the papers for hospice on a Friday. She only lasted until Monday afternoon. They moved her into a lovely sitting room and over those three days she had lots of company…family and friends came to visit and although she mostly slept. I think on some level she knew we were all there.

On the last day, I sat facing her, my sister, Jeanne, was opposite me, my son, Chip, was beside me. My brothers, Wally and Jim and my husband, Bob, were all around her. We spoke softly and sweetly and let her know that it was okay to go as we’d all take care of each other. We asked our dad to come from heaven and pick up his bride as she had been waiting for him almost 21 years. In the quiet end, we believe that Dad did come and that he whisked her away with a sigh and rose petals.

Roses to Dust

Mom didn’t want a viewing and her wish was for a direct cremation. Her ashes were returned to us the following week. As her health care agent since my dad’s death, I had heard her wishes many times. I was given custody of the remains of Dad’s ashes years ago, and Mom wanted me to save out an equal amount of her cremains and mix them with his, which I did.

The bigger portion of her remains were to be taken to Cape Cod out to the far dunes…not in the water as she couldn’t swim… As it turned out, she reunited with Dad at a really good time. Labor Day Weekend is our time to go to the Cape for our annual two weeks. We brought Mom to the Cape with us on September 3. Before we packed up and left, I made sure all the roses in the gardens were well watered for our two weeks away. Then I pulled a huge bagful of rose petals and put them in the cooler to keep fresh.

Roses for Love

Chip and Jess and the four kids came out to the beach with us for the weekend. We have a lovely second-floor home that we rent and it has plenty of room. Sunday morning dawned a picture-perfect day and we decided that was the day to take Mom/Grammy out to her final destination. We brought our Explorers out to the National Seashore, dropped the pressure in the tires below 11 PSI, and traveled over the dunes and the sandy desert out to the Race Point Lighthouse and beyond.

We parked our vehicles on the beach. I put Mom’s ashes in a pretty tin pail with a rose on the front and Chip offered to carry his grandmother’s ashes to their destination. I grabbed the rose petals and put them in a huge basket which grandson, Austin, carried down the beach. The sky was never so blue and the ocean was never so clear as that morning. The surface of the water was indigo, but the breaking waves looked like melted aquamarine. This spot is right at the Race. This is where the great Atlantic is flowing into Cape Cod Bay and the bay is trying to flow into the ocean.

The water is wild in this spot…constant motion. The wildlife there is amazing. We watched whale spouts close to shore and their great backs and dorsal fins sliding into the water. Seals were gliding through the water and the aquatic birds were just beautiful. Chip told me to let him know when I found the perfect spot, and just after that I said, ‘This is it!’

Peace at last

Up against the big dune, in front of the Race and all its happenings, was a plateau in the side of the cliff. Chip scooped out a nest in the sand with both his arms and gently poured his grandmother’s ashes in. We took turns with a spoon, stirring her into the sand. Her great-grandchildren Chris, Austin, Adele, and Emma sprinkled brightly-colored rose petals into the hole and then carefully covered it all over. We said lovely things and gave her our love and then spread a blanket of sweet rose petals all over the beach in her honor. I thought it was the most lovely funeral I ever saw. Dance with Dad, Mom…you’ve earned your respite. Love you!